Saturday, December 31, 2005

Halcyon Days

The glass is half empty. Something is always threatening to knock it over. Our lives are a miracle. Today a man shot his ex-wife to death, injured two of his kids and then committed suicide. Good. Saved the taxpayers a lot of money prosecuting him. There but for the grace of God go you or I. Try explaining to the orphan kids that they are supposed to honor their mother and father. Moses taught that. Were there murder-suicides in the tribes of Israel? We need the wisdom of Solomon. He died a long time ago. Now we have to rely on someone who went to our universities. God help us. I got a bachelors degree from an American university. It seemed like a good idea at the time. A friendly Democrat-run government paid for most of my tuition. It was an investment in the future when I would presumably be paying more income taxes on my higher income. Turns out I was so socially conscious that I went to work in social sevices where the workers are notoriously underpaid. At least in Arizona. So I don't know if I paid back my tuition in higher taxes. A lot of ideas are theoretically excellent.

So the glass-- is. See you in 2006. Inshallah.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

La vie

Today I received a priority mail package sent Dec. 19, 2005. Yes, that was sent 10 days ago. What can we expect of non-priority mail? And postage is going up in January?

I have decided to blackmail the man whose motorcycle I am borrowing. When he comes to reclaim it, I will hold it hostage until he fixes my own relic of a motorcycle. Just kidding. I think. I love riding a bike. Even the part about every vehicle out there is trying to kill me. Yes, especially that. It is an adrenaline thing.

Only a couple more days left in 2005. I guess I am suppose to reflect/make resolutions. Let's see. I got another year older. And the same thing is going to happen next year. There. Got that done.

Actually I am quite pessimistic about my future. Oh, here and there there will be highlights. But I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel. Unless it is THAT tunnel. Because I believe in THAT tunnel or whatever it is one sees when one is in extremis. I have a ton of questions for the generations past in my family. One will be why they did not instill the importance of learning foreign languages into their children? My grandparents spoke three languages. Many people in Europe still do. But I, only the second generation in this country, do a fair job in English, a poor job of French, and abysmal in German, Spanish, Polish and Latin. I find poor language skills to be a terrible lack in American education. I didn't even have the chance to study German until I was in Grade 12. I am not one to pick up foreign languages easily, but just like being bad in math doesn't mean you don't have to figure the tip at a restaurant, being bad in language doesn't mean students shouldn't be taught it.

From the stranger than fiction department: the other day I met for the first time a person who lives 2 miles from me through a mutual friend who lives 2000 miles from here. C'est bizarre.

So I will wrap up today's post with a warning. Don't watch so many crime shows on TV that you think there is a criminal behind every bush and that the world can be so easily divided into right and wrong. There are crooked cops and kind-hearted criminals. Mostly we are just in-between, average folks trying to make life bearable for ourselves and those around us. Maybe we can do a better job in 2006.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Where Art Thou Learning

I read an opinion column that claims our difficulties arise from fundamentalism. He wrote that there are liberal fundamentalists as well as right-wingers and Moslems. Titled: "Closed mind a terrible thing to protect", he asks us to become our own persons. I think he has a point to a point. But there has to be some bedrock to build one's learning upon. There has to be a fundamental something or else one is liable to go swaying back and forth in the latest trends during your whole lifetime. In my profile in this blog I stated I am always learning. Yet I do have certain beliefs though that are solid. Not everything can be relative. I will give you the address of his website for those interested. I cannot say what he might have in it as I have not visited it myself.

Monday, December 26, 2005


I had a green-yellow day. My artistic talents are not in the paint medium, but I believe most people have a sense of the property of color in one or more ways. A green-yellow day is fair, relaxed, painless. The air was fresh. I believed I could win a million dollars and not be richer than a green-yellow day. There are days better than this. But many more are worse.

Possibly what colored the day is that it was a holiday. Government was closed down. Banks were closed. No heavy vibrations in the air. But now that I think of it, I think my grandfather died on this day when I was an infant. Not so good. But one of my relatives turns 28 today. That is good. He is a cancer survivor. I imagine it was a black day when he was told he had the big "C". The worst thing I've ever been told is that I am crazy, but people have been telling me that since I was 10 so that doesn't faze me.

The famous September 11th was a gray day. All I can think about is smoke. Gray choking smoke. More Americans died from the terror that day than died in the attack on Pearl Harbor in 1941. How soon we forget.

The South Pacific is a wet blue of many hues. When I was in Tahiti I was in a constant sweat. But the ocean was magical.

The Internet is brown. A combination of the colors of all the people who contribute to it. Think of a barrel of food all thrown together in a mish-mash, what color is it? Brown. The end result of digestion? Brown. Cyberspace is certainly brown.

What color is the future? White. Like a page of paper unwritten upon. A cold frozen landscape waiting for the breath of life to warm it. Take me future. I go as a willing sacrifice.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Born To Be Wild

When I was young and knew more than I do today, I rode a motorcycle full-time. Then I got lazy and bought a car. It has all been downhill since then. But in a remarkable Christmas miracle I had the opportunity to take an 850 cc bike for a ride on a 70 degree, sunny, warm morning. Yes, while the rest of the country were in church worshipping their redeemer's birth, I got the motor running, head out on the highway, looking for adventure, in whatever comes my way...oops, slipped into an old Steppenwolf song there, excuse me. I found no adventure outside myself. Instead I summoned up sweet memories of 2 wheel freedom. Feeling that wind pushing at me, noting the changing road surfaces, leaning into the turns. Being part of the life around me instead of shut inside a conveyance. I did wear a helmet. Not that it would save much if my noggin hit pavement. And due to my recent inexperience I kept the speed below 75 MPH. Oops, was I supposed to drive this borrowed bike slower? Well, it was all in fun for the holidays. Apparently I have lived to tell about it.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

On the Eve

Right after we finished a big Christmas Eve meal with friends, carolers appeared at the door a-caroling away. The timing couldn't have been better. And they gave us cookies! This Christmas thing ain't such a bad deal after all.

I am not kidding, the national weather service has issued a severe weather warning for our area for Christmas day because we can expect record-breaking high temperatures. For us that means 70 degree range. Read it and weep all you hardy northerners!

I have a 25 year old horse who thinks he is a 3 year old Lippizan stallion. Yesterday he took me for a ride. We didn't do "airs above the ground" but it was a great frolic. I wonder if he'll slow down when he turns 30? He's an Arabian.

My wish for this Christmas is that everyone have a few moments to reflect. Christians are celebrating the birth of the Saviour; Jews are celebrating the miracle of the oil. Kids are celebrating Santa; big kids are thanking their credit card credit limit. The days are getting longer from now until June. We get one chance to live here. Nobody knows when their time is up. Even a death row inmate could have a heart attack while walking to the lethal injection room. Many people have related the experience of dying only to be told to go back, their time was not up yet. Your time is not up yet. What will happen next? There is only one way to find out. I'm on the Eve of something.

Thursday, December 22, 2005


During my cross-continent trip I drove 5,978 miles. I love to drive. Yesterday I had to drive to the city (130 miles away) and since my back was "out" I had to have the help of a relative who drove most of the way for me. Thanks. Then this morning I wake up and my back is fine! Maybe I should get a job as a truck driver if sitting in a vehicle is so good for me.

It was 79 degrees in the city yesterday. Unbelievable. So beautiful for Dec. 21st, the first day of winter. Sorry to brag. But this is what I endure all those 100 degree days for.

There was a TV show on recently about heaven. Barbara Walters interviewed people of different faiths and no faith. Personally I believe in an afterlife. I don't believe the dead can communicate with the living. Those TV shows popular now about sensitives who channel the needs of the dead to their loved ones are great science fiction. Spiritual beings who communicate with the living are another matter. Satan is a master of lies. He can use people's willingness to believe their loved ones are communicating in order to further his nefarious schemes, whatever they are. Once people open their minds to his machinations, all matter of hell can break loose, literally. Don't mess with questionable spirits. It's similar to trying street drugs, once won't hurt anything, next thing you know, you are hooked and stealing money from grandmothers.

I will stop my preaching for now. My Christmas shopping (not holiday shopping) is almost done. Just have to get a little something for my husband. He is sweet so I am going to get him sweets. This year I saw Christmas lights all across America and Canada. Hannukah is the festival of lights. There are good reasons for lighting up a house when the days are at their shortest here in the northern hemisphere. Although they aren't as short here in the southwest as they are up north. I remember well going to work in the dark and going home in the dark up in the northeast. It was psychologically depressing. Many people are known to suffer from daylight deprivation known as SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). Too much darkness. They should move to Arizona. Yes, 79 degrees and sunny yesterday. I sat outside and ate ICE CREAM! Almost heaven, Barbara!

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Mongrel yips

Two days ago my back "went out on me". I don't know the proper medical term for it. A spasm? A cramp? Whatever it is, it lasts a few days, giving me a lot of grief, then it goes, as mysteriously as it came. Years ago I tried a chiropractor for it and nothing changed. Not heat nor ice, nor rest nor exercise, nothing has any effect. Oh well. C'est ma vie! I just assume that everyone has some pain in their life. Migraines for instance. I've never had one. Would love it if I went to the grave ignorant of them.

We are caring for a mongrel pup while its' owners are on vacation. My own dogs were gracious to accept their cousin into their home turf. I enjoy watching them interact. Mankind was very smart to domesticate animals. Not only for nutritional reasons and work purposes but for entertainment. I pity folks with allergies to pet hair. They miss the personal relationships. My horses, dogs, cat and rabbit provide a lot of diversion.

When I was travelling the continent and meeting people face-to-face, I lost touch with blogs I read. Good grief! The real world interfered with my fake world! Well, not actually fake. Real life is contributed to from many sources: novels, lies, fantasy, chemicals in the brain, mass media, etc. I think my life is run by vision. I can't predict where this vision is going to take me next. I wouldn't want to know. That would take the adventure out of it. If your life is not an adventure, then I'm sorry. Maybe it is the mongrel in me. The Internet let me out of my cage. So many words, so little time.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Oh Canada

During my days spent north of the border I meant to behave myself. It is a beautiful country with signs in this province often reminding you that this is beautiful Ontario. Tricky as it was, I figured out my kilometres per hour and tried to do the speed limit but on the "401" (main highway between Toronto and Montreal) everyone speeds. I had to avoid being a traffic hazard.

Prices in Canada are a challenge to figure out in US dollars, and then at the cash register they hit you with GST and PST. Those are taxes meant to foil even an autistic savant who can recite Pi to the 30th decimal. A $6 magazine would sell for about $5 in the US costs $8 in Canada with tax which is?? I give up.

On Nov. 26th I went snowmobiling! There was just enough snow there in eastern Ontario for me to learn how to run a Ski-Doo around the "bush" and proudly I claim that I didn't run over any bushes or hit any trees. It was trickier than I expected. But fun! The gasoline in the Ski-Doo was bought by the litre, not by the gallon. It cost around $.82 a litre which I have no idea how to translate into any measure I can easily relate to. Any mathematicians out there?

Some miles to the west down the 401 I passed farm country that could have been in Indiana. Except the road signs were in English and in French. Vive La Belle Langue!

One final word about Canada. Yes I heard people say "eh!" but I also caught myself saying "y'all". So tit for tat. Differences are fun. Under the outer trappings, people are people. I will always carry a great love for the land of the maple leaf.

Cogito Ergo Sum - Je Pense

Okay, I admit it has been 21 days since my last post. I got carried away during my vacation - without Internet access in many places. Since I got home I've been chilling out.

I was generally without daily news during the time I was away from home. Things happened. I don't know what happened. I am still holding body and soul together without that knowledge. I am not a lesser being because I don't know what I don't know. I think. Therefore I am. I think.

Arizona is still without measurable rain/snow. Looks like a dry Christmas if something doesn't happen in the sky soon. But that is just life in the desert. If I really liked snow, then I would have been in my glory during the 7 hours I drove through Minnesota and Iowa in heavy snow and witnessed many car & truck mishaps. Instead I thought of the easy life I have here. A rough winter day is a high of 50. Today it was 60, sunny, calm and accompanied by birdsong.

The winter solstice and Christmas are coming. Lift up your chins.