On October 23rd I posted "A Fistful of Dollars" and today I have a few more thoughts on revenue deficiency. I will preface by warning you that I struggle to decipher reality from false perceptions. To quote Carole King, "I feel the earth move under my feet". My sense is not your common sense. As I said earlier, in high school I was a rebel's rebel. I was too extreme for the hippies. Too unconventional for the nerds. Too aloof for the jocks. Too remote for the teachers to reach. I'm only answerable to the Deity. And today the sermonizer proclaims that poverty is an attitude of the mind. If I decide to think that I am really richly blessed, it will be so? God wants me to prosper in all areas of my life: relationships, physically, in the pocketbook, in my mind? Will He bestow on me the perceptual faculties to discern only this "truth" and not reality? Perhaps God only wants me to recognise the good things and forget the adverse circumstances, those very circumstances that shape me into a stronger human being? No, I think God does not want me to be a mindless cult worshipper. I believe He wants me to know good and bad. And that my attitude should be to live through whatever is my life. To me that means conflict. Peace is for the next life. God doesn't want to prosper everyone in every way all the time. Although I don't want to presume to speak for God, being just another peon. But from my exerience, as short as it is, life goes up and life goes down. There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven." Ecclesiastes.
Tomorrow I have to pay bills that total over $1000, and I'm a couple hundred short. Contrary to common sense, I am not worried, not panicked, I will sleep like a baby tonight. If I wake up tomorrow I will deal with it. See how insanely trusting I am? I didn't even buy a lottery ticket! Gut Gott! I expect conflict and I live it. Nothing new.
When I thrust from my mother's womb there was a message banner for me hanging above the delivery bed: All hope abandon ye who enter here!